When a Parent's Care Costs $11,000 a Month at 66

Kim Berling, 66, and her husband, 72, planned to retire by now. Instead, they work to cover the $11,000 monthly cost of caring for his 99-year-old mother.

Berling lives in Albuquerque with her husband, who runs an ATM repair company. She works in financial advising and insurance sales. The money goes to her mother-in-law's at-home care in the Dallas area.

The mother-in-law has a long-term care policy that pays about $4,200 a month. The remaining benefit is $41,000. At the current draw rate, the policy will be exhausted within a year, Berling said. After that, the couple will bear the full cost.

Her mother-in-law's own income from Social Security, a teacher pension, and an annuity from her husband's life insurance comes to about $3,000 a month. That puts her over the Medicaid threshold. She cannot qualify for government-funded care. If she were on Medicaid, the state would pay about $1,500 a month for a family member to provide full-time care, Berling said.

"There's nothing for the middle-class majority who make too much for Medicaid but don't have enough money to cover long-term care," she said.

Berling manages the care from New Mexico. She drives the nine-hour trip to Texas about once a month to check medications and meet with caregivers. She also holds Zoom calls with the caregivers and her mother-in-law.

The costs extend beyond the monthly fee. Supplies like gloves and bed pads, plus diapers, add several hundred dollars a month. Transportation to doctors comes out of pocket.