How Language and Culture Shape Guilt and Shame in Apologies

Korean and Spanish speakers did not apologise in the same way. Korean speakers often took responsibility directly, using expressions like "it was my fault" and, at times, strongly self-critical language. Spanish speakers were more likely to soften responsibility. They often explained what happened, stressed that the offence was unintentional, or used impersonal phrases such as "se me olvidó", which roughly translates to "it slipped my mind".

This does not imply that one group was more sincere or more apologetic than the other. It shows that cultures repair social relationships differently. In Spanish, this happens through explanation and negotiation. In Korean, it is often done through a clearer acknowledgement of fault, especially when social power is involved.

Speaking a second language can sometimes create emotional distance. Words learned later in life, often in classrooms rather than at home, may feel less emotionally charged than those learned in childhood. The findings complicate that idea. Participants did not generally feel less guilt or shame in their second language. They were able to experience strong moral emotions in both languages.

The difference appeared when social power entered the picture. When apologising to someone of higher status, such as a professor, participants expressed guilt and shame more strongly in their first language. This suggests that the emotional weight of authority, responsibility, and social norms may be more deeply rooted in the language people grew up with.

Learning a language is not just about grammar and vocabulary. It is also about knowing how to manage emotions, acknowledge responsibility, and maintain positive social relationships. A learner may know how to say "I'm sorry", but may not know how that apology will come across in another culture, whether it sounds too distant, too formal, or not sincere enough.

In international workplaces, universities and online spaces, people often need to apologise. However, what sounds sincere and responsible in their first language may sound cold, exaggerated, or evasive in a different language. Understanding how emotions like guilt and shame are expressed across cultures can help reduce misunderstandings in intercultural communication, especially in contexts influenced by authority and social expectations.