
Laid off and newly arrived in Lisbon, a couple built a marketing consultancy together. They nearly split the business to save the marriage. Instead, they found a better way.
My husband and I were both laid off when we moved to Portugal. We reluctantly decided to build a business together, which hasn't been easy.
"Do you think we should get a work divorce?" I asked Cody, furiously scribbling in my notebook about a client meeting.
"What do you mean?" he said as he flushed the toilet. We were in our one-bedroom apartment in Lisbon, and the bathroom door was open. He could hear every word I said on Zoom calls. I could hear his typing from the kitchen table where he worked.
A work divorce – splitting the business so one partner runs it while the other steps back – sounded like survival. We had been running our marketing consultancy for 18 months. Revenue was growing, so was the tension. Every disagreement about a client strategy bled into dinner. Every missed deadline felt like a personal failure.
We didn't get the divorce. Instead, we built a system that kept the company and the marriage from collapsing into each other.
The first fix was physical. We moved to a two-bedroom apartment. One room became the office. The door stayed closed during work hours. No more bathroom meetings. No more hearing each other's calls.
The second fix was harder. We divided responsibilities by skill, not by who was louder. I took client strategy and new business. Cody took operations and delivery. When a client issue came up, the person whose lane it was made the call. The other person stayed out.
The third fix was a rule: no work talk after 7 p.m. The first few weeks were brutal. I wanted to debrief every call. Cody wanted to vent about a tricky deliverable. We sat in silence, not knowing what to say to each other without the business as a buffer.
Slowly, we found other things to talk about. The neighbor's cat. The fado show we kept meaning to book. Whether the pastel de nata at the corner shop was better than the one across town.
The business grew. We hired two contractors. Revenue hit six figures. We stopped checking the bank account every morning.
Last month, a client asked if we were ever going to kill each other. Cody laughed. I said, "We already tried. It didn't take."
The truth is, working together forced us to communicate better than we ever had. We learned to say "I need space" instead of slamming a door. We learned to trust each other's judgment without hovering.
A work divorce would have been easier. We would have missed what came after the hard part.
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